I wanted to rescue a dog, but I was adament that the dog couldn’t be an aggressive breed, since I already had a dog who was the sissiest breed possible. Brought the dog home, she was somewhat aggressive, but after a year of working with her she was perfectly fine. A year or so later, a new vet laughs at me when i call her a Boston Terrier mix and says “more like a pit bull mix.”
I laugh nervously… and he shakes his head. Nope, she’s half pit, half miniature pinscher. I’m not a smart man.
In college, I lived in a three-story house in Worcester, MA. Each floor had it’s own porch, so we decided it would be a good idea to build a three-story beer funnel. Click through for the full story plus pictures!
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Coworker #1 – I think we should divide countries into groups by what plates they’re on.
Coworker #2 – Wait, like, license plates?
My roommate and I used to play a simple game when we were bored at home. It was a variation on a game I learned at camp as a kid.
The game was simple:
As the game goes on, the shooter gets drunker and more likely to hit the target, and the target gets drunker and less likely to move in time. Someone always ends up with a dart in the foot.
Back in college I lived for a year with 11 friends in a large triple decker. I was sitting in my first floor living room, nursing a hang-over, when I hear noise from the second floor.
The kids on the second floor are somewhat notorious for stupidity, so I try to listen… I can make out laughing, yelling, and the occasion loud slam. After this continues for 15 minutes I become concerned, and head up the stairs to find out what the commotion is about.
I walk into the living room to find three of my friends sitting on the couch, probably drunk, about 6 feet away on a small table is a lit jar candle. I immediately see that what they’ve been trying to do for the last 15 minutes.
They’re trying to put out that candle. With a 6′ wooden oar. By repeatedly hitting the glass jar with the oar.
When I asked for an explanation, they told me they were putting out a candle… like this is how everyone does it. It’s a miracle that building never burned down.
As freshman year college students, myself and a few friends attended a frat party. After getting severely inebriated we (myself, Paul, and Sarah) headed back to the dorms at about 2am. As we weaved our way home, Sarah lay down in a mans yard and became sick.
As she lay there, I started to worry… we were each about 18 at the time and if the cops noticed we’d be in some deep shit. I went to help Sarah, and as I sat with her I noticed two cruisers slowly cruising up the road toward us… local cops looking for drunk college students to harass, no doubt.
I crouched down a little lower, drunkenly hoping this would make me invisible… however Paul stood on the sidewalk, clutching a stop sign for balance. The cops cruised by slowly, each one looking at us as they passed.
As I breathed a sigh of relief and the cops passed, Paul finally notices the two cruisers. Drunkely, he removes his hands from his stop-sign-crutch and, while throwing the double bird, shouts “FUCK YOU PIGS!”
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